The Institution of Marriage in Ancient Rome: Customs, Laws, and Social Dynamics

Roman marriage was between a man and a woman. While this may seem obvious today, in the ancient world, monogamy was not the norm. In many ancient civilizations, men—especially wealthy men—had multiple wives. Thus, it is quite remarkable that marriage in the Roman (and Greek) world was officially limited to one man and one woman. However, Roman men were permitted to have concubines, though these women did not hold the same rights as wives.

Most marriages were not romantic but arranged between families aiming to maintain or improve wealth and social status. For a marriage to be legitimate, the fathers of both families had to give consent, unless one father was deceased or the man to be married was illegitimate. Fathers could not force marriages but could annul them.

The primary purpose of marriage was to produce legitimate children and establish a family. In Roman families, fathers held absolute authority over their children, a concept known as patria potestas. This power allowed fathers to disown or even sell their children as slaves.

Marriage Ceremony

Before marriage, couples participated in an engagement ceremony where the groom gave his fiancée an iron ring. Like today, there was a religious ceremony, but the rites differed significantly, reflecting the distinct nature of Roman religion. For example, on the evening before the wedding, the bride sacrificed her childhood toys to the lares, the family spirits.

Ancient Roman marriage illustration

The wedding ceremony began with a procession led by the groom to the bride's home. The bride wore a tunica recta, a simple white tunic, a belt tied with a special knot called the nodus herculeus (which the groom would later untie), orange shoes, and an orange wedding veil.

The ceremony included an animal sacrifice to seek the gods' favour, followed by an exchange of gifts, a dowry agreement, and the signing of a marriage contract. The dowry, provided by the bride's family, often included jewelry, land, real estate, or slaves. Typically, the bride’s family bore the wedding costs. After exchanging vows, the festivities culminated in a grand banquet.

After the banquet, a procession escorted the bride to her new home. She carried a torch and some earth from her old home. At the new home, she was offered another torch and water. To avoid bad omens, attendants carried her over the threshold. The groom then asked for her forename, to which she responded: “Where you are Gaius, there shall I be Gaia.” A brief religious ceremony followed in the new home. The next day, the couple made offerings to the lares and hosted a smaller banquet for close relatives.

Divorce

Roman men could divorce their wives without interference from their fathers. Grounds for divorce included adultery, infertility, drunkenness, making copies of house keys, or simply lack of desire to remain together. Adultery was considered a legal offense, though its punishments were rarely enforced. The Lex Iulia, introduced by Emperor Augustus, sought to penalize adultery. For example, a wronged husband could kill his wife’s lover if he was a slave or an infamis (a person with no rights, such as a criminal, actor, or gladiator). However, the husband was then required to divorce the wife and charge her with adultery. Convicted women could not remarry, lost part of their dowry, and faced severe social consequences. Fathers could even kill an adulterous daughter and her lover, provided both were killed simultaneously.

Initially, only men could initiate divorce. Later, during the Republic, women also gained the right to divorce. Unlike modern practices, Roman divorces did not require state or religious approval and were unrecorded—except when initiated by women, who needed state authorization.

The Position of Roman Women

Women married young, typically between ages 15 and 20, with 12 being the legal minimum age. Wealthy girls often married shortly after puberty. They had no choice in selecting their husbands, as marriages among the elite were arranged. Brides were also expected to be virgins.

In the manus form of marriage, the husband gained full control over his wife, and she became part of his family, losing inheritance rights from her original family but gaining them in her new one. By the Late Republic (147–27 B.C.), manus marriage declined, replaced by sine manu marriages. In sine manu marriages, wives remained under their father’s authority, retained ties to their birth families, and did not inherit from their husbands. Divorce was much easier in this form of marriage.

SOURCES

• The Roman Wedding: Ritual and Meaning in Antiquity (Karen K. Hersch, Cambridge University Press 1st edition, 2010)
• Roman Marriage: Iusti Coniuges from the Time of Cicero to the Time of Ulpian (Susan Treggiari, Oxford University Press, 1991)
• A Casebook on Roman Family Law (Bruce W. Frier, Oxford University Press, 2003)

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

Return from Roman Marriage to Homepage